Decisions and Borders

The last save date for this post was 18th September 2018. It is an historical recollection at the time it was written. For more about looking backwards, read the introduction.

Enjoy what was...

Dear Adventurous Reader,

We are in Laredo. It is morning, overcast with grey clouds in the sky. It speaks very much to how I am feeling.

The past few weeks of talking have been difficult and confusing - I hear that can be common among families that travel. It has shown me how different Jacqui and I are. Not just in how we communicate, but also in how we asses risks.

I like to think. To understand. To plan. The plan doesn’t have to be fully formed, but it has to have ups and downs considered. Backup plans, or alternate plans are helpful. Weigh the bad thoughts with care, keeping in mind that “things normally work out”, and see how I could push the bad toward the good. Just because something sounds like a good idea, doesn’t mean it is - it just means that we haven't considered how to make the bad things work in our favour.

Jacqui is happy to take some risks to see her desires met. Jacqui is happy to ignore risks, or accept bad consequences, as long as they are acceptable to her. It is not so much about the bad thoughts, it is more about making things work. If there is a glimmer of hope, then it is worth the risk. And, if their is good food along the way, the risk seems like one to take - she is always thinking about good food.

Jacqui wants to go to Mexico.

Since December our future on the road has been uncertain. Work stopped coming in, and there was no idea for when the next project would come. We were left with no other choice but to look for work elsewhere. 60 job applications and no-one was interested in considering me as a work associate. Except one company - a travel company was willing to "take a risk" (words that were used) with me.

Since we departed North Carolina we have been weighing this lone job offer. Considering the pros and cons, trying to see how long it will keep us travelling. It was a very good wage in Eastern Europe - I was never sure how we would make it work in Mexico, where we had never been before.

Uncertainty is the hardest thing to predict.

We both want this to work out, we want to keep on travelling. We want this risk to turn into something fresh and new. I am holding all of the possibilities within my mind, every new place we would go, and how this job opportunity would just work out for us. I want to go to Mexico, because it means we keep going into the future. It is a step to what lay beyond.

So I have been entertaining the acceptance of this new risk, that does not equate in my mind. I have been trying to push away the doubt of taking a big leap into Mexico, and hoping that we can keep moving onwards.

Good stories that we recall in tough times, are about taking risks. "When I came to the cross-roads, I chose the road-less-travelled". They are the stories that are told, the romance of long-term travel is less about the hard-work and more about the one pivot point - for that gives us a better story.

What is a better story than "We gambled, and we won?" The story of the Hobbit would have been far-less entertaining, if Bilbo had remained in his comfortable hobbit-hole.

It is not the fear of Mexico that has me second-guessing our move. I wrote a piece about the hope of travel in the aftermath of a world-changing event - but this has to do with our uncertainty of work.

So, in pressing onwards, are we making a safe decision, or the right one?